Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Coffey, Pee or Me

Music Maven and R.E.M.'s best fan Beth Coffey has tickled me with the random six things tag. Tags come with rules, you know, so I shall post them below and then proceed to break them. Beth knows this about me and still she took this huge risk. For dismissing the rules with such a cavalier attitude, I worry that when Beth and I do finally manage to get together for many drinks, karmic retribution will come to me in when I duck into the toilet, do my business and find, too late, that there is no toilet paper.

That doesn't scare me. I've had to drip dry before, but only when I've had to pee in some field or along the side of a road or in my roommate's bottom drawer during one highly intoxicated episode.......but enough about my bathroom habits.

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The Rules
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Six random things...
1. I'm convinced that The Actor, if he should ever follow his musical talents, should play bass and euphonium for a band called Oedipus Wrecks.

2. This morning, as we rode silently, listening to Akon na na na na, I realized that The Actor, Cupcake and I were all being uncharacteristically quiet and calm on our ride to school. "Raise your hand if you're glad it's Wednesday," I said. All three of us raised our hands. The Actor didn't even open his eyes to do it. "Raise your hand if you wish it were Friday," I added. All of our hands shot up in the air. Then we went back to sleepy silence.

3. I almost always sleep in the fetal position on my right side.

4. I would love to live in an old house, but I'm pretty spoiled by the conveniences of this newish house.

5. I was going to convert to Judaism, but the rabbi was difficult about it and wouldn't let me take the fifteen week crash course so I decided screw it. Yes, I was that committed to the religion.

6. When MathMan's mother died suddenly and unexpectedly exactly sixteen years ago tonight, I had to call him at work and tell him. That remains the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. MathMan - if I could have one magical power, it would be the ability to give you and our kids more time with your parents, who died entirely too young.

So there it is - my six things. Now I have to tag six people.

BAC at Yikes
Bubs at Sprawling Ramshackle Compound
TheMom at the Attentive Aphorist
Roger Bell at Many Things
Kulkuri at Yooper in Crackerland

I know these tags and memes get run into the ground, but if you don't do it, I'm going to come pee in your bottom drawer, so I suggest you seriously consider following through. Thank you.

P.S. I just noticed that for the first time in a long time, I actually followed the rules of the meme. I wonder what my karmic reward will be? Maybe it's best not to wonder.....


  1. Best title I've read in weeks -- and not just because my name's in it.

    We are gonna have so much fun when we meet. February?

  2. Sometimes quiet is best...too bad Sarah Palin can't learn that.

  3. I like this prediction for the Actor and his band.

    If I were one of your kids, I would be delighted with the sleepy ride to school and the high fives with eyes closed.

    I used to sleep that way. Still on my side, but not so curled. I cross my knees and ankles too much.

    Teaser! I've got a house built in the late 1800's.

    You do fine with the observances.

    I'm sorry this is a sad anniversary for all of you.

  4. I always love memes where I get to learn more about my favorite bloggers.

    I am so sorry about your Mother-in-law.

    And, thanks for not tagging me. Lily is peeing on everything already and I couldn't take more pee.

  5. Your "peeing in the drawer" story reminds me of something that happened to me, several years ago. I was babysitting my sisters kids. They were all asleep (finally) and I was in the kitchen, reading. I heard a noise and turned around to see 8 year old Heather, with a zombie-like look on her face, pull open the bread door. She then pulled down her panties, sat on the edge of the drawer, and peed. I was so stunned, I just sat there and watched, as she then pulled up her panties and toddled back to bed. Her mother was not amused.

  6. I had to do that death phone call thing once. Hmm.

  7. Your going in the drawer reminds me of when my son peed on our xmas tree one year..memories..

    I am so sad that Mathman's mom passed unexpectedly..its harder that way I think.

  8. I recently had to tell my husband his mother had a stroke. I can't imagine having to tell him what you had to tell your husband.

  9. Think it was the immortal Lenny Bruce who said "there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to piss in the sink." A drawer comes close.

  10. Whew! My drawer is safe until the next raging bender.

  11. OK, got it done...just have to change one person to I must be blind and duplicated one of yours. I found it to be fun and cathartic.

  12. It's up so now you don't have come over and pee in my drawer is it drawers?? Hey, if the cold weather continues and it snows, you could try your hand at writing your name in the snow.

  13. this is the second of these I have read today. The title was by far the best, and the six thingies were great!

  14. Nice work. And you followed all the rules!

  15. Sure I'll do it. When I get some time. Jeeze everything is hitting the fan around here right now. It's below zero and the library still has heating issues, enough said!

  16. I think any non-Jewish kid wants to convert as soon as they see all the loot and cash their Jewish friends get for their Bar Mitzvahs. I know I did. Catholics are so cheap.

  17. Uh, excuse me? You and Beth are meeting?! Why was I not informed of this?! I want to come too!!

  18. Ditto Tanya Espanya
    Nor was I! pfft!

  19. My bottom drawer is safe and dry. Here is the link to my post.

  20. Lisa,

    Wow! It was a great surprise seeing you in my comments. Thank you. I can tell you're feeling guilty about not converting - so I guess you're a Jew at heart.

  21. I'm a right-hand side fetal, too.

    #6 was sad.

  22. BTW, did you ever read that novel about the naughty stewardesses (back when they were called that) called Coffee, Tea or Me? My mother had it, and I read it several times at around age 10. It had funny Playboy-style illustrations and one of the girls was named Trudy.

    See, your post called forward all sorts of strange things!

  23. I used to dream about toilets in strange places - like in the middle of crowded restaurants or on busy sidewalks. That was my signal to wake up and find the real one.

  24. thanks for sharing
    and as by bottom drawer is my favorite i'm glad I was not tagged :)

  25. Sad about Mathman's parents dying too young.

    As for the peeing in the drawer, the worst thing I ever did was throw up in my purse at a bar! The line to the ladies' room was too long and I'd drunk way too much expensive Scotch (it was an all-you-can-drink open bar for a set price on New Year's so I felt I had to get my money's worth). I tried to be discreet...

    Once I couldn't make it home from a local bar because I had to pee too badly, and had to pull into a side street and pee in someone's bushes! Thank goodness no one saw me...

  26. What a collection of randoms. Vintage Lisa - some funny, some irreverent, others very reverent indeed.

  27. Just noticed the headline. Brilliant, but that is what I now expect on this blog

  28. I had to tell my husband his brother shot himself....not fun....thinking about you...


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